"Domestic violence is not about size or strength but, rather, who has the will to harm the other." - John Hamel.
Domestic violence has plagued society for centuries. We all think we understand the term, but when we hear it, most people reflexively think of a woman victimized by a man - not the other way around. But, increasingly, men have become victims of domestic violence.
Since the 1970's, women's groups helped push the issue of domestic violence into our social consciousness. The same push toward awareness is now happening for male victims of domestic violence - but at a much slower pace due to the unique stigmas and social biases attached to the issue.
Men Experienced Higher Victimization Rates Than Women in 2006
Very few statistics exist on the numbers of male victims of domestic violence. However, those that do paint a sobering picture. The U.S. Department of Justice's most recent Criminal Victimization Bulletin reports that men were victimized 4 percent more than women in 2006. In addition, the National Institute of Justice's latest figures report that approximately 835,000 men are victimized each year. That figure hasn't been updated since 2000 and other reliable statistics are very hard to find.
"The National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence (NCDSV) and the state of California publish statistics that lead people to believe that domestic violence against men isn't an issue; when it truly is," said John Hamel, LCSW, a recognized expert on issues of domestic violence against men in California. In fact, he suggested, men account for half of all domestic violence victims and incur a third of domestic violence-related injuries. He believes that ignoring female-on-male violence inhibits efforts to combat domestic violence.
Majority of Funding Goes to Female Victims
The majority of funding for programs to assist domestic-violence victims goes to women. Though national domestic violence laws theoretically protect male victims, California law does not.
"There are thousands of shelters in the United States. However, I only know a few who will accept men because of the way that the shelters are funded," Hamel said. "The Violence against Women Act generally only provides funding to agencies who work with females."
The VAWA is a federal law that provides funding for the investigation and prosecution of violent crimes against women. Although additions to VAWA in 2005 added language saying that male victims of domestic violence can also receive benefits and services; men are still typically excluded.
In California, male victims are specifically excluded. California's Health & Safety Code, Section 124250, defines domestic violence as "the infliction or threat of physical harm against a past or present adult, or adolescent female intimate partners, and shall include physical, sexual and psychological abuse against the woman, and is part of a pattern of assaultive, coercive and controlling behaviors, directed at achieving compliance from or control over that woman."
California's exclusion of men from domestic violence laws became especially frustrating to victims' advocates in 2006.
"California's Health and Safety Code provides funding for domestic violence through marriage license fees for training on victims' services," Hamel explained. "However, that only extended to services for women until last year. The law was updated in 2006 to include gay, lesbian and transgendered people, but not heterosexual men [California Health & Safety Code, Section 124250 (h)]. It's just outrageous. We protested the changes in principle because we just couldn't believe this was happening. Don't get me wrong, I think the changes made were good ones, but they just didn't go far enough."
"Almost half of the domestic violence out there occurs against heterosexual men, which means that half of the victim population simply isn't included," he continued. "It's just not good public policy. What happens to children if they must leave the home with their abused father who doesn't have the money for a hotel or can't get into a shelter? Do we want to force children to stay with an abusive mother because a law didn't go far enough? It really is a serious public policy issue."
Ray Blumhorst, the Membership Chairman of the National Coalition of Free Men (NCFM), Los Angeles Chapter also expressed frustration over the lack of protection for male victims of domestic violence. Blumhorst, a 6'1" tall Vietnam veteran weighing more than 200 pounds, is also a battered husband. He said he walks with a permanent limp due to the violence he experienced from his ex-wife. He said he works for other men who are victims of violence and a variety of other causes.
"There is an extreme bias that exists in California law concerning male victims of domestic violence," Blumhorst said. "California recently passed a law allowing pet owners to get a temporary restraining order for their dogs and cats that are subject to violence - yet heterosexual men are still not covered under the law [California Family Code Section 6320, as amended 2/20/07]. The same imbalance exists in care giving. There are hundreds of programs available to women who are the victims of domestic violence, but hardly any for men."
Blumhorst said he was turned away from 10 shelters in Southern California simply because he was a man. Frustrated at the existing biases, he sued the shelters. His case was unsuccessful.
Stigmas Attached to Male Victims
The stigmas attached to male victims of domestic violence seem to be what causes the imbalance in the law and lack of funding for programs for men. Hamel explained that pride, embarrassment and a general misconception of the issue are key issues.
"Many men still believe in a code of chivalry, and therefore feel that they shouldn't report an abusive wife to the police," he said. "It seems crazy, but it's true. The bottom line is that it doesn't matter what kind of abuse is present in a relationship. Abuse is abuse, and it affects everyone in the household - including the children."
The reasons for violence and staying in a relationship are basically the same for both sexes, and it doesn't matter if the abuse against men is perpetrated by a woman or by another man, Hamel said, but males often feel that it's embarrassing to be a victim of domestic violence by a woman and say that what goes on behind closed doors is better left there.
"Men also tend to feel that their partner will leave them and also worry about what will happen to their children if they report the violence," he said, adding that many men also don't like to admit that they have been the victim of domestic violence because males are supposed to be bigger and stronger. "I find that the embarrassment issue is the strongest for most men."
Increasing Awareness
Despite the lack of available statistics, resources and the stigmas surrounding the issue, experts say that awareness is increasing - but slowly.
"I've seen more awareness on the issue amongst domestic violence researchers and treatment providers," Hamel said. "More women are being arrested for perpetrating domestic violence than ever before, so more of an interest is being taken on the subject. Mandatory arrest laws have changed the way many view domestic violence, as police will arrest the woman if the man claims abuse. The law was actually sponsored by several women's groups to assist police in arresting men by requiring less probable cause; however, more men are now availing themselves to the law."
In particular, Hamel said a major change has occurred amongst well-known researchers whose efforts have made the topic better known. "It still isn't in our social consciousness as a society," he said. "There are not a lot of television specials on male victims of domestic violence, but there are many on female victims. When there is a television program on the issue, it's usually demeaning or meant to be funny."
Blumhorst echoed Hamel's sentiments. He said that change is happening, but it's happening very slowly. He said the NCFM is working hard to increase people's awareness of the issue, but the law and the biases that exist in our society make it very difficult.
"I worked at Santa Monica College for 16 years and saw so many women's study courses get added to the curriculum over the years," Blumhorst said. "Yet, so much of the information in the textbooks used is outdated and biased against men on issues such as domestic violence. So, we're actually teaching misinformation."
When asked what else can be done to make people more aware of the issue, Blumhorst was silent for a moment, sighed, and said, "Honestly, sometimes I just don't know."
What Employers Can Do
Employers often play the role of initial contact for male victims of domestic violence - although many employers don't realize it. Victims often alert their employers to issues concerning domestic violence; however, the warning signs may be behavioral changes such as poor work performance, depression or the inability to concentrate.
Though it's almost impossible for employers to guess the underlying circumstances driving these behaviors, Hamel said employers should be on the lookout for both male and female victims of domestic violence through their employee assistance programs (EAPs).
"An employer's EAP should provide services for both genders, and trainers who provide classes should have experience dealing with domestic violence against men and women," he said. "Employers should also be pro-active about mental health issues and know what is really going on out there. Unfortunately, there are many EAP providers that wouldn't recognize the signs of domestic violence against men and who might fail to ask a man about it who has come in complaining of depression. That's why experience matters. A forward-looking employer will make sure that EAP counselors are well trained and understand that so much of the data out there is skewed and unreliable."
Employer Resources
The following resources may be helpful to employers who are confronted with domestic violence issues: